SuperBrown’s brilliant plan to save the British economy

By Hajira Talbot

Despite my best efforts to stay away from the field of blogging, here I am again scratching my head at the scene laid out in front of me. A year ago I was helping the onset of my alopecia by trying to find logic in South African politics and today here I am in the UK wondering why I bothered to move.

At least South African politicians, infuriatingly senseless as the lot of them may be, are at least a colourful bunch. They have a new political party with no name which is headed by a guy called Terror, who might just be the next big thing, unless he is discredited by being discovered to have been an apartheid spy sometime in the ‘60s. This happens more often than you might think.

Nevertheless, given the so-called credit crunch (who on earth came up with that? It sounds like a breakfast cereal) things are not looking so rosy for Old Blighty, with the sterling dropping to its lowest level in five years. Who will rescue us, I hear you ask? SuperBrown! Yes, Gordon Brown has said today that in order to ‘shore up the economy’ and save the country, the ‘responsible’ thing to do would be to borrow more (Guardian). The world’s economy has been run by a bunch of shady characters who have given credit which never actually existed in cold hard assets, be they gold or otherwise, and the worst part is that we have known this for YEARS and no-one ever seemed to get in a tizz about it until a few weeks ago. Now we have economists flapping ineffectually around like chickens without heads, screaming ‘the end is nigh!’ incessantly, and SuperBrown’s solution is? Why borrow more money of course. It’s the responsible thing to do.

It may be a good idea to point out to the less astute of you that I’m no economist. I’m a human being. I suppose we shall all have a jolly good laugh about all this one day. And then get on with eating our earthworm and cockroach gruel.